The ‘Museum of Failed Products’
in Ann Arbor, MI, contains thousands
of old products that tanked within
months of their release. The shelves
are basically a graveyard for bad
products, like Clairol’s A Touch of
Yogurt shampoo, Gillette’s For Oily Hair
Only, and caffeinated beer. SourceSource 2
I would like to introduce the internet to what was introduced to me by the quietest person in my program: Wodka, which is not a homestuck reference, but is the combination of wine and vodka
How to make Wodka:
Step 1: Pinpoint the part of your life that is wholly unsatisfying. This is your Wodka Inspiration.
Step 2: Acquire empty pop bottle. The size of this bottle is your choice.
Step 3: Pour vodka until bottle is almost halfway full. This is your Wodka base, and will create a lovely, raging burn in your chest later on.
Step 4: Up to an inch of some kind of juice (your choice) representing your recently crushed hopes and dreams. This is also a courage booster when you start wondering if Wodka is really a good idea or not.
Step 5: this is what I like to call, “DIY Bartending”. Find some kind of wine, any wine you’d like, and top off your drink. Mine ended up being the last of a open bottle of chardonnay. Portions are based on your Wodka Inspiration. This also represents the stupid, insanely competitive college program you just got a rejection letter from, because FUCK THEIR SHIT, MAN!! FUCK THEM!!!!!!!!
Step 6: Screw on lid, gingerly agitate bottle.
Step 7: Get white girl wasted. Do not add more juice because if you do you are a Quitter and mama didn’t raise no quitter
